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    Copyright © 2009-2017
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15 Ways to Get Out of the Dark Side of Emotions

Copyright © 2015 Joan Y. Edwards

Copyright © 2015 Joan Y. Edwards

“15 Ways to Get Out of the Dark Side of Emotions” by Joan Y. Edwards

I’m sure you’ve found yourself experiencing the dark side of emotions. It’s like you’re completely surrounded by dark thoughts that you may keep secret from others: abandonment, addiction, anger, arrogance, blame, criticism, defensiveness, emotional pain, fear, frustration, gluttony, gossip, guilt, gluttony, helpless, holding grudges, impatience, judgment, lack, lust, repulsiveness to body, prejudice, regret, resentment, road rage, self-righteousness which to me means stress for the body, mind, and spirit.

How can you lift yourself out of the doldrums into the land of positive thoughts: feeling of belonging, freedom, acceptance, humility, love, abundance, living with purpose, feeling worthy of care, good health, wealth, healing, and joy?

The first thing to do is accept that you’re in the pits. The second thing is to believe it’s okay to be there. The third thing is to take action in your mind and with your body to get yourself out.

Here are a few ideas to help change your focus. When you change your focus. You’ll change your mood.

  1. Be thankful. Name aloud or in your mind, a long list of things for which you are thankful.
  2. Make a list of 5 things that need doing around the house or at work that can be done in a short amount of time (5 to 10 minutes). Doing one or more of these items will give you a sense of accomplishment which will improve your mood.
  3. Listen to your favorite music. If you’re in an area where you can’t disturb others, use earplugs. Make a CD of your favorite songs.
  4. Love yourself.
  5. Go dig in the dirt. Dirt is grounding. Make a new flower bed. Get the weeds out of the flower bed you have now.
  6. Drink a glass of water. Being hydrated helps you think clearly.
  7. Take a bath or a shower.
  8. Write out new goals and ways to reach them.
  9. Watch your favorite movies.
  10. Give yourself a certain time limit to be sad and enjoy a pity party.
  11. Call a friend who is upbeat and accepting of you.
  12. Work a puzzle.
  13. Create something in your favorite colors.
  14. Fix your favorite foods.
  15. Walk or do other exercise for 15 minutes.

Monitor your thoughts and your words.Look for some subconscious belief you have that may have been responsible for part of your situation. If you can change your thoughts, words, and beliefs, you will change the way things are happening in your life.

Let me explain. My husband, Carl, was sick at Christmas time for four or five years in a row. Maybe more. In 2010 I heard him say, “I always get sick at Christmas.”

Think about how powerful his words were. That was his belief.  Not consciously until he became aware of it. Once I asked him if that’s what he wanted, he changed his words both outside and within himself and he hasn’t been sick at Christmas since then.

If you’re like me, you catch yourself saying, “I can’t do that.” Our brains are like computers and they want us to be right, so they search the world for experiences that reflect our inner beliefs.  So when you try to do things,  you can’t do them simply because you say that you can’t do them.

When I taught Kindergarten at Hemby Bridge School in Indian Trail, North Carolina, there was a set of monkey bars. Students loved to climb across it hanging by their hands and arms on each rung as they glided across. However, I’d noticed several students falling and getting hurt. I monitored the monkey bars. I told the students: To cross the monkey bars, you have to be able to tell me that you can do it. They would line up and say, “I want to cross the monkey bars.”

I asked them, “Can you do it?”

If they answered, “Yes, I can do it,” I allowed them to climb across it.

If they answered, “I can’t do it,” I told them I couldn’t let them cross and perhaps break an arm or something. Their parents would be ticked off with me. I told them to watch and study how the others crossed the monkey bars. When you have figured it out and think you can cross, let me know.

One of my kindergarteners wanted to cross but she told me she couldn’t do it. After she studied the others for about 15 minutes, she said, “I can do it.”

I told her, “Okay. Go ahead and do it.”

And she did. Everyone clapped for her. She was ecstatic and so were we.

What had she done? She had changed her belief system.

That’s what you might need or want to do, too.  Change your belief system.

Say, “I can do it.” Educate yourself. Practice the skills. Do it in your mind first. Visualize yourself being successful. Take a leap of faith.  Do it.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post. Please share how you get out of the doldrums. Remember you are a gift from God to our world. I am glad you are here.

Of course, you can use these same ideas to get your main character out of the doldrums, too.

If you liked this blog post, you might also enjoy my blog post:

“Twelve Ways to Get Over Disappointment:” https://joanyedwards.wordpress.com/2012/06/25/twelve-ways-to-get-over-disappointment/

Celebrate you.
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards

Copyright © 2015 Joan Y. Edwards


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7 Responses

  1. Powerful and very uplifting. Thanks, Joan! I had my own ah-ha moment this morning concerning this very topic. It feels so good when we find a way out of a slump.


    • Dear Linda,
      Thank you for writing. I’m glad that you believe my post to be powerful and uplifting. You are right. It does feel good when we find our way out of a slump.

      Celebrate you and your fun ways and wisdom,
      Never Give Up


  2. Joan, maybe you should rebrand yourself as a psychologist. While I haven’t made some of your recommendations to my clients, the general approach is spot on.
    Yesterday, I read about a new piece of research on the release methane in Siberia. It does look like we are heading for a repeat of the great extinction event at the end of the Permian. I can see the danger of all chordate life on this planet dying out. For some millions of years, it may become a planet of insects, all because humans have been greedy.
    I am old. If I die, OK, I’ve had a life. But I love children, and so spent some time grieving over the shortened lives of all those wonderful little people.
    Then I did something like what you’ve written.
    The facts and the thoughts about them are still there, but it’s OK. The universe is unfolding the way it is supposed to be, and we can live NOW, and be the best humans we are capable of being at this moment.
    And that’s enough.


    • Dear Dr. Bob,
      Thank you for writing. I appreciate your compliment. I’m glad you found a way to be at peace with where you are and what you’re thinking. Accepting ourselves as we are is a great step towards changing ourselves to what we truly want. It is at times very difficult to accept things in our world as they are.

      You have done many things to help others. I am amazed at everything you have accomplished in your life. I rejoice because you are here.

      Celebrate you.
      Never Give Up


  3. Joan, I so wish there was a Love button as well as a Like button, because I love this post. I love the way you encourage us! Thank you so much.


  4. […] — but a wise person worth listening to. This post on defeating the inner devils is spot on. Apply her suggestions, and you’ll improve your […]


    • Dear Dr. Bob,
      Thank you for your kind words and link to my post on “15 Ways to Get Out of the Dark Side of Emotions.”

      I do hope they help many people switch their focus to a more loving and healthy emotion.

      Never Give Up


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