“It Is What It Is?” by Joan Y. Edwards
Have you ever had a severe case of CONTROL-i-tis? Do you want other people to be more like you? Do you want others to do things according to your rules? Do you insist that others follow your beliefs?
Oh my goodness! I have trouble letting go of wanting control. Do you have trouble letting go, too? Does your mind keep running videos of less than happy experiences? Each time you remember it, does it get more difficult to let it go?
There is a great phrase that says, “It is what it is.” Quotes in Your Dictionary.com mentioned that in 1949 J. E. Lawrence used it in his column for the Nebraska State Journal:
“New land is harsh, and vigorous, and sturdy. It scorns evidence of weakness. There is nothing of sham or hypocrisy in it. It is what it is, without an apology.”
They also said that the term is used in sports to explain a particular play in a game: “It is what it is.” At this very moment, you are what you are. No apologies necessary.
It’s time to recognize and accept that you are who you are. Accept that you along with your thoughts, words, and actions are a great human being. Yes, you have faults. Yes, you have flaws. But ultimately, you’ve been doing the best you can do. You’re doing the best anyone could do in your circumstances with your experiences, thoughts, and beliefs.
Celebrate the person you are now. Accept the person you are right now at this very moment. The more you accept yourself as you are right now, the better you’ll be able to accept others as they are.
There’s magic in accepting yourself, others, and situations as they are right now with no apologies. The magic is that it leaves you open to changing what you want changed in yourself. Acceptance fills you with energy and love.
You’ll be better able to let go of your unhealthy expectations that have not been reached. You’ll be able to see ways to improve. You’ll be able to navigate direct to your goals because you are not stuck in the resistance to accepting yourself as you are and the fear that you are not going to get to your goals.
One thing that keeps you RESTLESS and STRESSED is your resistance to things that happen or that you fear might happen to you or someone you love.
Accept that you are who you are right now. This is the first step to take if you want to change yourself. You have the right to be who you are at this particular moment in time.
Accept that others are who they are right now. That doesn’t mean that they are right. That doesn’t mean that they are wrong. That doesn’t mean that they please you. That doesn’t mean that they displease you. It just means that they are who they are. They have a right to choose who they are. You have no control over other people. Other people have no control over you, either.
The older I get the more I realize how much I, as a human being, want to control things. Oh my! It is silly because it zaps my energy. It is a reminder that I have no control over many things. You and I do not have control over other human beings. At times this is frustrating.
Accept that an experience is what it is. You can’t change what happened in the past. Try to let it go. It will energize you. It will help keep you from spinning your wheels in place.
It is very comforting to have people agree with me. I have come to realize that sometimes I get uneasy when no one agrees with me. The greatest feat of wisdom is when you realize that you have the right to your beliefs, even if no one agrees with you. People’s opinions are not necessarily facts. They are what seems to be true according to their experiences and beliefs.
Letting go means to relinquish your grip grip on someone or something.
Letting go means being okay with leaving things as they are right now: http://www.buddhanet.net/4noble14.htm
Here are my unreasonable goals:
I always want me, my family and friends to be healthy.
I don’t want bad things to happen to me, my family, friends, or acquaintances.
You can see how unreasonable these wishes are. You’re probably saying, “Come on. Joan. Be reasonable. Get a life.”
Gabby Bernstein says in her article, “3 Spiritual Steps for Handling Your Feelings:” to pray, talk, and forgive. I think there’s a step missing. Acceptance.
Think about how you’ve been handling negative emotions or unrealistic expectations. Continue to use what works for you. Let go of what doesn’t work. Accept things as they are. Enjoy the present.
Are you stuffing your negative feelings? Bring them up to the surface one at a time.
When you accept situations as they are, it releases a wonderful energy. If you can’t forgive yourself or others right now, it’s okay. Look inside yourself. If you can at least accept the situation at it is, your willingness to forgive may come later. Hatred and unforgiveness is baggage that hurts your body and mind. Acceptance is a form of love. Letting go releases the negative emotions and helps your body to relax. Relaxation gives room for more good things. It is healing.
Thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate each of you. May you be able to accept things as they are and say, “It is what it is.”
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Filed under: Health | Tagged: Acceptance, acceptance is the power to change, bring negative thoughts to surface, celebrate the person you are now, Energy, forgiveness, it is what it is, love, you are who your are, You're doing the best anyone could do |