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Stop the Blame Game – Take 100% Responsibility


“Stop the Blame Game – Take 100% Responsibility” by Joan Y. Edwards

I’m not sure where the philosophy of blaming someone for our problems came from. I am sure it’s older than Methuselah. Yes, remember that Adam blamed Eve for him eating the apple. Didn’t Cain blame Abel for making him lose his temper? Don’t the Democrats blame the Republicans for their problems? Men blame their problems on women. Women blame their problems on men. Students blame their problems on the teachers. The teachers blame their problems on the administration or on the parents. In the 1970’s Flip Wilson made us laugh with his great lines, “The Devil Made Me Do It.” Did these statements solve any of the problems? I don’t think so.

One U.S. President who took the blame and responsibility for his behavior was Harry S. Truman. He said, “The Buck stops here.”

How refreshing it is to hear someone say,

  • “I messed up. I sent the invoice to the wrong company.”
  • “I forgot to make our mortgage payment.”
  • “I forgot to pick up Jamie at school.”

A healthy thing to do is to take responsibility for yourself and forgive yourself and others. Another way of saying forgive is to accept yourself and others as you are. When you are in a partnership, it is true wisdom when you realize that the other person is not the only one who contributed to the problem.  When you accept responsibility, it’s easier to find a solution to the problem. Finding the solution starts with taking responsibility for our thoughts, words, and actions. Accepting ourselves and others is the first step towards finding a solution to a problem. Accepting that you are human and that you make mistakes seems to be something human beings find it hard to accept. Yet once you get in the habit of accepting yourself as you are with your strengths and weaknesses. You get stronger.  It’s easier to accept. Only when you can accept things as they are, will you be able to learn from the situation and make things get better in the future.

Humans want control. I believe that every thing you want can be broken down into a control issue. A real anxiety comes when you want two things with conflicting beliefs. You want approval/disapproval, security/insecurity, death/survival, or separation/oneness. You fears of what will happen if you don’t get what you want leads you to inner turmoil.

Accept yourself as you are and have love and compassion for yourself. This empowers you to forgive yourself and others.

According to Jesus Christ in the New Testament, The Greatest Commandment is “Love the Lord thy God with your whole heart, your whole soul, and your whole mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.”

Buddha says, “Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”

In 1952 Lester Levenson healed his body using the Sedona Method that he created. Instead of dying in a few days he lived many years. He discovered that self-acceptance and acceptance of others gave him peace and healing. He learned that giving up the control was healing. Giving up the emotions that signaled control was healing. Lester lived 56 years longer than the doctors said he would. He died at the age of 93 in 2008.

According to Dr. John Izzo, Senovus Bank in Columbus, Georgia has been in business since 1888. The mantra of this bank is 100% Responsibility/Zero Excuses. It was reported in Fortune Magazine for being a great place to work.

Therefore, accept yourself and accept others. You will be more at peace. Therefore, you will be healthier. You will also be happier. You have no control over other people. Try it today. If you’re blaming someone else because you didn’t achieve something, stop. Accept that you got yourself here in this place at this moment. Love yourself.

Place new beliefs in your mind.

I am responsible for my thoughts, words, emotions, and actions.
I allow myself to achieve great things.
I love myself just as I am now.
I accept others as they are now.

Breathe in acceptance air through your nose or yawn with the sound, “Ahhhhhh.”

Breathe out judgment through your mouth with the sound of Whooooooooooo or whewwwwwwwww..

Resources:

  1. Amanda Emily Reed. Website: http://amandaemilyreed.com
  2. Amanda Emily Reed.  YouTube. “Self Empowerment: Why Taking 100% Responsibility Is Key To A Healthy Life?”  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WC92SuY6jas
  3. Buddha. “Peace comes from within – Do not seek it without.” http://thinkexist.com/quotation/peace_comes_from_within-do_not_seek_it_without/147331.htm
  4. David Truman. “The Real Reason Why People Blame God:” http://www.soulprogress.com/html/ArticlesFolder/Articles/RealReason.shtml
  5. Dr. Harold L. White. “The Blame Game:” http://www.angelfire.com/hi5/hlpawhite/ser438blamegame.html
  6. Dr. John Izzo.  YouTube. “100% Responsibility 0% Excuses:” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O9qS3Javq8&feature=related
  7. Dr. John Izzo. Stepping Up: http://www.amazon.com/Stepping-Up-Responsibility-Changes-Everything/dp/1609987845
  8. Dr. John Izzo. YouTube. Stepping Up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MnRvsf2KRg&feature=related
  9. Hale Dwoskin. The Sedona Method: http://www.amazon.com/Sedona-Method-Happiness-Emotional-Well-Being/dp/0971933413
  10. Jake Lawson. “Accepting Personal Responsibility:”http://www.livestrong.com/article/14698-accepting-personal-responsibility/
  11. Keith Sanders. YouTube. “Leadership – Self Responsibility and Taking Initiative:” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zg8dfo5Ea4&feature=related 
  12. Six Wise.com. “How to Take Responsibility & Stop Blaming Others (Even if Others are to Blame):” http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/05/24/how-to-take-responsibility–amp-stop-blaming-others-even-if-others-are-to-blame.htm
  13. Synovus Bank. “Synovus Leadership Expectations:” (includes 100% responsibility, zero excuses) https://www.synovus.com/master/includes/680/docs/LE_Square.pdf
  14. WikiHow. Edited by Foxglove and 33 others. “Accept the Blame When You Deserve It:” http://www.wikihow.com/Accept-Blame-when-You-Deserve-It

Thank you for reading my blog. I appreciate your being here with me.

Click the Sign Me Up in the left hand column, or click onFollow if it is visible at the top of the page to subscribe to my blog. When I reach 100 email subscribers (62 now), I’ll choose ten at random subscribers to win a free first page critique. The 100th subscriber will win a free critique of the first 1000 words of a manuscript, along with its pitch.

Do something good for you today.
Love Your Sweet Self
Never Give Up
Joan Y. Edwards

Copyright © 2012 Joan Y. Edwards

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2 Responses

  1. Joan,

    Take 100% responsibilty–good to hear these reminders. I especially appreciated the comment about shared responsibility in partnerships. It’s good to ask ourselves, “What could I have done better?”

    Like

    • Dear Linda, I’m glad you liked the reminder to take responsibility for ourselves. It does help to remember that each person in a partnership helps create its successes and failures. It saves a bunch of time and heart-ache if we can just admit, accept, and head on to the solution. Congratulating each person in the partnership when it’s a good situation is a great way to have more good situations. Thanks for writing. I appreciate your wisdom.

      Joan Dream! Love! Laugh! Never Give Up. Joan Y. Edwards http://www.joanyedwards.com http://www.joanyedwards.wordpress.com

      Like

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