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Is Blaming Beneficial or Is It Better to Say: “It is what it is” and Go On?

Is blaming beneficial? Is it better to say, “It is what it is” and go on.

It seems to me that people are all too willing and too fast to put the blame on someonelse.  They use other people as scapegoats.

“It’s his fault.”

“It’s her fault.”

“It’s not my fault.”

On the other hand, some people take the blame for everyone’s problems. They say, “It’s all my fault.”

When you feel overly guilty about something you did, it fills you with the fear that others might not forgive you. You have trouble forgiving yourself. When you can forgive yourself and accept yourself as you are, it is easier to forgive others.  When you think that you are perfect and that no one else can be right in a particular situation, you need to look in the mirror.  When you look in the mirror, low and behold, you discover that you are human after all.  You are not different from other human beings. You make mistakes, even though you try your very best at perfection. You can never be perfect. No matter how young or old you are, you make mistakes. You’ve heard the saying, “It is what it is.”  To me that’s another way of accepting things as they are. Things can’t be undone. They can be prevented next time by education, different actions, different words, and different attitudes.

Here’s where the tricky part comes in. When you feel guilty, you’re frozen solid in your tracks. You can’t move. Every action you think of seems bad. The course of action to take is not evident.When you accept yourself (forgive yourself), you’re open for change. When you accept others, they are more open for change, too. Then you’re able to think clearly and you’re calm and your instincts can lead you in the right direction to the goals you set.

What good does it do to blame someone else for the problems that you are having? Ultimately, it keeps you from going beyond this particular experience. If you don’t take responsibility for your part in the experience, it keeps you from growing.  It holds you back.

Taking responsibility for your actions is praiseworthy. It means you made the best judgment you could with what you knew in that particular situation. You’re willing to change your way of thinking or your actions or both.  You realize that there were other factors leading to the situation. That you weren’t solely to blame for it. You can take responsibility for making the best out of the situation for everyone involved. Accepting others as they are, too.

You’re responsible for your thoughts and actions. You’re not responsible for the thoughts and actions of others. Love yourself. Love others. When you send out love and acceptance, you receive it back. What goes around, comes around.

Here are six other links about blame:

Troyann Williams: “Should You Blame Yourself for Everything That Happens to You”  http://breakfreefromselfsabotage.com/2010/12/should-you-blame-yourself-for-everything-that-happens-to-you/

Joan Lavender: “What If You’re Afraid” http://healyourenvy.com/what-if-youre-afraid/

Penelope Trunk: “Blame Yourself First” http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2004/11/06/blame-yourself-first-answers-to-letters-from-readers-sort-of/

Phil Sena: “The Blame Game:” http://www.tomorrowsworld.org/cgi-bin/tw/tw-mag.cgi?category=Magazine59&item=1235894564

Mark Graban: “A Pharmacist’s Jail Cell Interview” http://www.leanblog.org/2010/03/pharmacist-jail-interview-what-good-does-blame-do/

Dana Blankenhorn: “Scapegoats” http://www.danablankenhorn.com/2009/03/scapegoats.html

I am honored that you are here.  Thank you.

What do you think about “blame” and “taking responsibility?”  Do they mean the same thing to you or do they have different meanings? Please leave a comment and let me know.

Never Give Up!
Joan Y. Edwards


Copyright © 2011 Joan Y. Edwards and her licensors.


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4 Responses

  1. Joan,

    You’ve got us thinking, self-reflecting, and hopefully changing for the good.

    Linda A.


    • Dear Linda, Thanks for saying I’ve got you thinking and self-reflecting. I know the change is going to be good. You are innately good and wonderfully made by God. And one of God’s blessings to me. Do something good for you.

      Have a Flip Flap Floodle Day!

      Joan Y. Edwards, Author/Illustrator Flip Flap Floodle at Amazon http://www.amazon.com/Flip-Flap-Floodle-Joan-Edwards/dp/1594572852/ Website http://www.joanyedwards.com Never Give Up Blog http://www.joanyedwards.wordpress.com


  2. Hi Joan,

    Your article is so very insightful… Thank you for sharing!



    • Dear Troyann,
      Thanks for stopping by. I’m glad you think this article is very insightful. Do something good for you.

      Joan Y. Edwards


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